Straight Acting: Gay Men, Masculinity and Finding True Love | 
| Author: Angelo Pezzote
Publisher: Kensington
Category: Book
List Price: $15.00
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Avg. Customer Rating:  3 reviews
Sales Rank: 133832
Media: Paperback
Number Of Items: 1
Pages: 224
Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.3
Dimensions (in): 8.4 x 5.6 x 0.8
ISBN: 0758219431
Dewey Decimal Number: 305
EAN: 9780758219435
ASIN: 0758219431
Publication Date: March 1, 2008
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Book Description
Fed up with the fact that men have a shorter shelf life than sushi? Finding, let alone building, a strong relationship can still be challenging for gay men. The reason? Masculinity. All men, gay or straight, have been socialized to believe that to be overtly gay is unmanly and shameful. To compensate, many gay men adopt a macho, "straight acting" pose that blocks them from being their full selves, expressing their true feelings and forging real, lasting connections. In Straight Acting, Angelo Pezzote (AskAngelo.com) encourages readers to go beyond limiting ideas of how "real" men should behave, and leave behind out-dated ways of being that create stumbling blocks to deeper intimacy. Drawing on his years of experience as a gay psychotherapist and advice columnist, he offers practical and thoughtful relationship strategies, with tips on subjects that include coming out, dating, how to avoid falling for a player, how to maintain a sizzling, satisfying sex life, navigating open relationships, and much more. Most of all, he delivers crucial insights on the importance of ditching the macho act and learning to be true to yourself. Whether you're single and sick of it, wanting to move closer to your partner, or wondering how to meet someone for the very first time, let Angelo show you how to get real and get him. Put yourself out there to get--and keep--the love you want. "There is no such thing as a 'real man,' only millions of men -- straight and gay -- trying to convince themselves and others that they have the right stuff. In Straight Acting, Angelo Pezzote peers behind the curtain to uncover the human costs of this relentless masculine performance. His immediate concern is gay men, but all men who seek love, intimacy, and most of all self-respect can benefit from the honesty and wisdom in these pages." --Jackson Katz, creator of the award-winning educational film Tough Guise: Violence, Media and the Crisis in Masculinity
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| Customer Reviews:
 couldn't get past the cover June 30, 2008
1 out of 1 found this review helpful
The photo of the author is so gorgeous, I haven't been able to move past the cover often enough to actually read much of the book. And, when I do move beyond the cover, I find any encouragement to feel better about myself as a gay man is useless because I am still visualizing the cover in my mind's eye, compare myself and feel like crap. The book's goal would be more easily realized if the author had been ugly. Damn those Italians (but thank the Goddess for them at the same time.)
 EXCELLENT EDUCATION March 19, 2008
2 out of 4 found this review helpful
THIS BOOK IS ABOUT KNOWLEDGE AND EXPERIENCES AND FACTS I STRONGLY RECOMMENDED ! YOU HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE SOME THINGS NOT ALL! BUT MOST OF ALL ACCEPT YOURSELF IF YOU CAN NOT CHANGE SOME THINGS THAT IS NATURAL FROM BIRTH!
"YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL" BY CRISTINA AGUILERA
Finding and Building Relationships February 27, 2008
3 out of 4 found this review helpful
Pezzote, Angelo. "Straight Acting: Gay Men, Masculinity, and Finding True Love". Kensington. 2008.
Finding and Building Relationships
Amos Lassen
Probably the biggest problem of being gay is finding a place to be yourself and next to that is the finding and building of a relationship. Angelo Pezzote in "Straight Acting" maintains that the reason for that is simply the concept of masculinity. The stereotypical idea that gay men are unmanly still prevails in the world today. In order to make up for this many gay men adopt a "macho" or straight acting behavior that in turn blocks the from being who they are and therefore they have trouble expressing their real feelings and are unable to begin or maintain lasting relationships.
Pezzote tells us that we should stop limiting ourselves and reach beyond the ideas of the way "real man" behave, thereby leaving behind the outdated ways that have created problems in attempting to find a deeper level of intimacy.
Pezzote is a gay psychotherapist and writes an advice column so he s familiar with these issues. He gives us ways that are practical and well thought out and using these we can begin to form more serious relationships. He also includes valuable tips on such matters as coming out and dating, how to maintain a very exciting sex life, understanding and navigating through open relationships, how to avoid falling for the wrong man and much, much more. But the primary emphasis of this book is on how we can learn to be true to ourselves.
We have been socialized to believe that being gay is unmanly and shameful. By assuming the tough facade, we create barriers and hide our ability to love. Pezzote places the blame for this on the homophobic and heterosexist American culture and shows how the media reinforces this. Hollywood provides us with images of who "real man" are--successful, unemotional, strong, athletic and heterosexual. Being gay puts us out of the ideal and we are viewed as feminine and weak and all men are assumed to be heterosexual until they are proven to be otherwise. Because society does not accept as us as real men, we take on society's idea that being manly means being masculine. We work out to excess, dress in the mode of Abercrombie and Fitch or camouflage and cut our hair. Likewise we demand out partners to do the same. We advertise ourselves as "straight acting" whatever that means.
Pezzote says we can change this by simply healing our sense of inferiority and the fear that underlies it by accepting ourselves and loving ourselves.
This book needs to be read by all who feel insecure about who they are and by those who are secure but under false pretenses. It is a welcome addition to our canon.
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