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Speaking of Boys: Answers to the Most-Asked Questions About Raising Sons | 
| Authors: Michael Phd Thompson, Teresa Barker
Publisher: Ballantine Books
Category: Book
List Price: $14.95
Buy Used: $2.12
You Save: $12.83 (86%)
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Avg. Customer Rating:  12 reviews
Sales Rank: 11175
Media: Paperback
Edition: 1
Number Of Items: 1
Pages: 352
Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.7
Dimensions (in): 8.1 x 5.5 x 0.8
ISBN: 0345441486
Dewey Decimal Number: 649.133
EAN: 9780345441485
ASIN: 0345441486
Publication Date: August 2000
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
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Shipping: International shipping available
Condition: Standard used condition.
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| Editorial Reviews:
Amazon.com Review
Preeminent child psychologist, Michael Thompson is renowned for his efforts to educate and assist parents with sons. First with Raising Cain (his response to Mary Pipher's Reviving Ophelia ) and now with Speaking of Boys, Thompson encourages parents to help their sons develop the emotional intelligence necessary to succeed. The book seeks to answer parents' questions concerning the complexities of raising a boy in today's society. Every chapter introduces questions from parents on issues like puberty, underage drinking, and increased violence in schools, and in every instance the author responds with insightful and knowledgeable advice. Chapters entitled "Speaking of Social Anger and Aggression" and "Feelings and Communication--Is Our Sensitive Boy a Sitting Duck for Bullies?" are particularly in tune with the apprehension parents feel when sending their sensitive sons off for another grueling day at school. The key to raising a healthy son, says Thompson, is to help your boy attain an emotional intelligence that will allow him to cope with difficult and threatening situations. To accomplish this, parents need to nurture compassion in their sons and try to avoid allowing them to become desensitized by the teasing and pressure of others. Respecting your son's need to appear strong at times and offering him a sense of safety when discussing emotionally revealing subjects are two ways Thompson encourages parents to nurture their son's emotional development. As anyone who is raising a boy knows, it's a job that is never quite finished, and with this book, Thompson offers parents an invaluable tool, regardless of their son's age. --Dal Asher
Product Description
My eight-year-old son is the only boy in his class who doesn't have a Gameboy. I don't want him to be ostracized for not having one, but I worry that it's addictive. What do you think?
Our two sons are eleven and fourteen, and they are fiercely competitive. The tension around our house is awful. How can we help them get along better?
We've worked very hard to keep our ten-year-old son in touch with his feelings. Sometimes it seems as if we've put him at a disadvantage, surrounded by tougher boys who can be pretty cruel with teasing. How can we help him protect himself when other boys start to tease?
With his bestselling book Raising Cain, Michael Thompson, Ph.D., at last broke the silence surrounding the emotional life of boys and spearheaded an important national debate. His warmth and humor quickly made him a popular and respected international speaker and consultant. Now he directs his authority, insight, and eloquence to answering your questions about raising a son. With candid questions and thoughtful, detailed responses, Speaking of Boys covers hot-button topics such as peer pressure, ADHD/ADD, and body image as well as traditional issues such as friendship, divorce, and college and career development. This perceptive, informative, and passionate book will leave you not only with useful, practical advice but also with the comforting knowledge that other parents share the same concerns you do when it comes to raising our boys into well-adjusted, responsible men.
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| Customer Reviews: Read 7 more reviews...
 Now I know why they think that's funny ... August 14, 2007
1 out of 1 found this review helpful
I've read a couple of books on boys and the best by far is Speaking of Boys: Answers to the Most-Asked Questions About Raising Sons. It's set up in a question and answer style and it answers questions like:
* why are brothers competitive?
* does my son really mean to be that mean to his sister?
* why is my son preening like this and will it ever end?
* what to do as a divorced mom breaking up with someone
* what do do when your son starts acting abusive or violent
* how to react to your son (or his friend) lying
But I found it most useful in understanding boys' humor. I don't find most "boy jokes" very funny and I struggle on how to respond and I struggle with understanding why they are funny - from farts to knock-knock jokes. (I'd like to be in on the joke! It looks like fun.) Michael Thomson did a really good job of explaining how boys use humor to gain status with their friends and in their social groups and he even gave some good advise to people like me who just don't get it.
I learned a lot from this book and I highly recommend it to anyone who is occasionally baffled by boys - small or big ones.
There is nothing wrong with my son January 25, 2007
13 out of 14 found this review helpful
After another unpleasant meeting with my 9 year-old's teacher, my husband and I began to feel thoroughly discouraged and worried. I decided to do some research, came across this book, and nearly wept with relief.
Our current school system is dominated by women who fail to understand the psychology of boys. Prior to having sons, I believed that boys were rambunctious and agressive due to socialization. Like most parents, I learned otherwise; boys are different - and this does not make them bad. I am tired of teachers saying the word "boys" while rolling their eyes, as if being a boy implies the existence of some inherent defect. It's insulting, unfair, and serves to seriously damage our sons' chances of doing well academically. Boys are in an educational crisis - and it's a manufactured one.
If you have a son who kicks over the neighbour's snowman, climbs on the roof of the school, falls off his chair in class, gets into fights on the playground, annoys his teachers, blurts things out, and is generally considered a "problem", chances are, he's absolutely normal. Our intolerance to the energy of boys has led to millions of male children being medicated. It's an outrage, and parents need to confront the school systems and their attempts to feminize the male population. They can't run, they can't jump, they can't be competitive. They're supposed to act like girls, all quiet and co-operative, and when they don't - out with the ritalin.
Here's something I learned: Our son has never been allowed a toy gun, and yet he draws them constantly, tries to find books on guns in the library, chews his toast into the shape of a pistol, etc. His teacher was concerned, and called us in for a meeting about it.
This is a child who does not play video games, watch violence on tv, and is encouraged to be kind and compassionate. But there he is, drawing pictures of gangsters with machine guns. This book explained that it's a pretty normal thing. Our son got in trouble at school and lied to us about it. Again, fairly typical.
Our son is easily distracted - why? Because of "co-operative learning" where kids' desks are all shoved together. This works for GIRLS, not boys! I requested an alternative seating arrangement.
If you're worried about your son, you must read this book. It has changed my life. By the way, I'm a highschool teacher - I look at my male students completely differently now. Boys are lovely - there was a time when we knew this. This books has made me fall inlove with my boys all over again.
 This Book is Sexist and Stereotypes Fathers as Incompetent October 10, 2006
2 out of 12 found this review helpful
I thought this book was written by a woman as I first skimmed the pages, due to the sexist, stereotyped, and biased comments about men and boys within. I then saw the title page, and the author's (male) name.
I was intrigued until upon reading further I discovered that the "author" admits to having hired a woman named Teresa Barker to put the book together because he has "the organizational skills of an average eighth grade boy."
I had already drawn my conclusions about the author's bias before learning this. The author views boys . . . AND MEN . . . as infererior to woman emotionally and intellectually. If that supports you own biases, thenthis book is a love-fest for you. If not, I don't know where to direct you on this subject . . .
pg 7. "Finally if a man has struggled inarticulately in the past to explain himself . . . "
pg 12 . . . [men] have not had enough practice dealing with the energy level and willfulness of of small children. Women have . . . "
pg 20 - "In the boy realm, arrogance is a performance art . . . girls are more likely to act in a non-threatening way."
 Michael Thompson....not his greatest work September 5, 2006
0 out of 1 found this review helpful
This book was a good information book to read. It did not offer the type of insights that I Was looking for when I bought this book.
Useful, practical, inspring advice! March 27, 2006
3 out of 3 found this review helpful
What a wondeful book! I have 3 sons (aged 15, 11 and 4 years) and so many of the questions and answers here were relevant to things they are doing or have done and how I have felt about things. I found the advice very sensible and up to date and reassuring.
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