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House Rules: A Memoir | 
| Author: Rachel Sontag
Publisher: Ecco
Category: Book
List Price: $24.95
Buy New: $12.12
You Save: $12.83 (51%)
New (27) Used (10) from $8.55
Avg. Customer Rating:  28 reviews
Sales Rank: 39141
Media: Hardcover
Number Of Items: 1
Pages: 272
Shipping Weight (lbs): 1
Dimensions (in): 8.2 x 5.8 x 1
ISBN: 0061341223
Dewey Decimal Number: 306.8742092
EAN: 9780061341229
ASIN: 0061341223
Publication Date: April 1, 2008
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
Shipping: Expedited shipping available
Condition: New Book - excellent condition
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Product Description
At an early age, Rachel Sontag realized there was something deeply wrong with her father. On the surface, he was a well-respected, suburban physician. But questioning his authority led to brutal fights; disobedience meant humiliating punishments. When she was twelve, he duct-taped her stereo dial to National Public Radio, measured the length of her hair and fingernails with a ruler, and regulated when she could shower. A memoir of a father obsessed with control and the daughter who fights his suffocating grasp, House Rules explores the complexities of their compelling and destructive relationship, and his equally manipulative relationships with his wife and other daughter. As Rachel's mother cedes all her power to her husband, and her sister fades into the background of their family life, Rachel fights to escape, and, later, to make sense of what remains of her family.
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| Customer Reviews: Read 23 more reviews...
mental illness July 21, 2008
Not many reviewers made mention that this is a story of mental illness much more than emotional or physical abuse in my mind. Rachel lived with a very unbalanced father and a weak mother who probably had no tools to deal with her own worthlessness and the constant demeaning by the father. Even though she was a trained social worker, Rachel's Mom wanted to keep peace and it came at a high price. I believe every word of this memoir and was glad to see it written so that Rachel could rid herself of any guilt that she could have done anything differently. She was a child and not capable, until as an adult, to go back and see how this affected her and how she now has good coping skills.
 Heartbreaking, wonderfully written. July 20, 2008
After reading this book and reading her parents "response," I fully believe and support Ms. Sontag and any future writings she may grace us with.
I hope she and her sister have the best that life can bring, now, and in their future years. As to their parents, they will someday have to answer for the people they were and obviously continue to be.
A must read!! July 16, 2008
2 out of 2 found this review helpful
I find this book to be a definite must read. I enjoyed a great deal, the honesty and raw experience the character shared with us all. I found her father to be a sad, sad excuse of a parent. Clearly he suffered from some sort of chemical imbalance.
Quite frankly, it irritated me to no end the weakness her mother portrayed. I suppose having never been in that type of relationship maybe it is difficult for me to understand, but come on! Her daughters clearly needed her to be strong, to be their role model. I think she failed them, and to me that is so sad and oddly frustrating.
To those who continue to review this book from either IL or Evanston, shame on you! You are not fooling anyone. Get help... Save your self the humiliation. Without even knowing you Rachel, I am so proud of you. Clearly it must have been difficult to write this, having to revisit all of these very hurtful moments in your childhood. KUDOS TO YOU!
Heart Wrenching July 15, 2008
1 out of 1 found this review helpful
I can't begin to understand how Rachel made it through her life the way she did. I too grew up with an abusive Parent, albeit a Step-Father, and a Mother who stood by and allowed it to happen because she was too weak to stand up to the man she married. I know all too well the lasting damage that has caused. I am 43 and still trying undo the damage that was done to me. It really affects us mentally. However, Rachel has proven that we can overcome our past by re-programming our thought process and to aim for our dreams. I applaud her for her courage,to get out and move on. What a strong person!
Triumphant Memoir July 6, 2008
2 out of 2 found this review helpful
We are all a product of our childhood and past - whether it is what we remember or what we some-how forget. Rachel's memoir is both self exploratory and questioning; family, relationships, perceptions, ego and our need for acceptance and love.
I don't think this book tried to present the story of an abusive childhood but rather the intense influence the family dynamic can have on each individual's perception of themselves and their lives. Rachel makes a point of stressing the advantages her family's financial situation afforded her in contrast to the less fortunate. Furthermore, she never denies her love and it's crippling affect. To me, it seemed less a diatribe of self pity but more a deep exploration of how events in our childhood can indelibly sculpture how we see ourselves and the way we deal with the future and our relationships.
For that reason, I think her book resonated for so many readers. It is much more a story of love, not torture, and the conflict of need for parental approval and the realisation that our parents' faults exist and may also be reflected, or more frighteningly, reincarnated in ourselves.
To that end, I think she was so curious about her father's childhood and what made him the way he was. Ironically, it was her father's (now deleted) hateful reviews of her book that made me buy it and I was so pleasantly surprised on what I expected to be a self-serving parental bashing exercise.
You don't have to take sides with this book - just read it!
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