Delete This at Your Peril: One Man's Hilarious Exchanges with Internet Spammers | 
| Author: Bob Servant
Publisher: Skyhorse Publishing
Category: Book
List Price: $12.95
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Avg. Customer Rating:  13 reviews
Sales Rank: 330843
Media: Hardcover
Number Of Items: 1
Pages: 176
Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.7
Dimensions (in): 7.8 x 5.2 x 0.7
ISBN: 1602392757
Dewey Decimal Number: 828.9202
EAN: 9781602392755
ASIN: 1602392757
Publication Date: May 20, 2008
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
Condition: RAND NEW HARDBACK BOOK AND DUST COVER, NEXT DAY SHIPPING, PADDED ENVELOPES, NOT A REMAINDER
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Product Description
"Genius! Highly entertaining and brilliantly deranged."—Maxim
Spam is the plague of the electronic age, comprising 90% of all e-mails and illegally netting millions of dollars each year. Into this frustrating wave of directed marketing steps the brave figure of Bob Servant, a former window cleaner and cheeseburger magnate with a love of wine, women, and song—as well as a devious sense of fair play.
In collusion with his "editor" Neil Forsyth, Bob gives spammers a taste of their own medicine. This wickedly funny and original book features the anarchic exchanges between Bob and the hapless spam merchants who unwittingly flood his inbox. As they offer him African fortunes, Russian brides, and get-rich-quick scams, he turns the tables by offering them some outlandish schemes of his own. Upping the ante with the skill of a seasoned pro, Bob demands legal asylum, shoulders to cry on, and gold lions that speak—and almost gets his way. The result is page after page of wacky and hilarious e-mail exchanges—and a cathartic release for anyone whose inbox has been deluged with unwanted e-mail. 22 b/w photographs.
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| Customer Reviews: Read 8 more reviews...
Absurdity Fights Spam August 27, 2008
2 out of 2 found this review helpful
Almost thirty years ago, William Donaldson, using the pen name Henry Root, produced a few books of letters he had written to important people or companies and the replies he had gotten. He wrote outlandish and silly suggestions, and it was funny to read the replies back, most of which took his letters seriously, which made them all the funnier. It was, however, a little mean; the respondents were probably in their respective public relations departments and had to take Root's inquiries seriously at the risk of offending a customer. Such tricking of well-meaning clerks was thus morally questionable, but no one ought to fret over the same sorts of tricks being played now thirty years later on e-mail spammers, who deserve to be the butt of any pranks anyone on the internet can devise. Scotsman Bob Servant is just the prankster for the job, and in _Delete This at Your Peril: One Man's Hilarious Exchanges with Internet Spammers_ (Skyhorse Publishing) he has presented to us eight of his recent skirmishes, e-mails back and forth that confuse, anger, and waste the time of the spammers who have attempted to get his money. Servant seems to be, in the tradition of Henry Root, a pseudonymic creation of Neil Forsyth, who has written the introduction to the book describing the author. Forsyth explains that Bob Servant lives in the Dundee suburb of Broughty Ferry and is "a former window cleaner and cheeseburger magnate" who pals around with Tommy Peanuts, Chappy Williams, and Frank Theplank ("Frank the Plank"), who are sometimes pulled into the e-mail action transcribed here. Servant's book is laugh-out-loud funny, as he takes his new e-pals on aberrant and bizarre twists of correspondence, and anyone who hates spam will find his efforts not just amusing but inspiring.
The title of the book comes from a 419 scammer who sent his first e-mail with that line as the subject. The mail was from "His Royal Highnest Jack Thomson" whose father "King Arawi of tribal land" was poisoned for his wealth, which his Highnest is ready to share with Bob Servant at the rate of 25%. "Good morning your Majesty," comes Bob's terse reply, "I want 30% and not a penny less." By the time Bob has readjusted his desire up to 40%, he is also requesting to be paid in lions, as cash is too dangerous, and helpfully suggests to his new friend Jack that Frank the Plank once saw a talking lion on the television, and could Jack get one of those? Jack says one of the lions talks a little, whereupon Bob pounces, "I'm not sure about a lion that only talks a little, I'd like one that isn't so shy, if possible?" Jack replies, "Now you are saying the lion has to talk? What is this madness? Send me the 1700 that we agreed imeediately." Bob is undeterred: "What does the lion say when it talks. I am just checking that it won't get me into any fights." After delaying a reply, Bob goes on to apologize, "Sorry about the delay. I was round at Frank's earlier and got stuck up a tree whilst chasing a snake, then fell off and banged my head on a chicken. You know what it's like." There are ten further volleys in this insane e-mail conversation before it ends, with no money going to Jack and no lions to Bob. The other exchanges collected here are just as silly. When his new Russian girlfriend expresses some doubts that he is being serious with her, he replies, "What kind of weirdo would spend all this time emailing you if they were not serious?"
Indeed. Weirdo or not, Bob Servant/ Neil Forsyth deserves our thanks for his efforts in the war against spam, and for making them available to us in this absurdly hilarious collection. If you hate spam, it will be all the funnier imagining the targets of Bob's furious nonsense scratching their heads at the meandering replies after their initial certainty that they have hooked a likely meal ticket. One final reply comes from Nigeria when it has eventually dawned on the spammer that no money is going to be forthcoming and a good deal of time has been spent reading nonsense: "YOU ARE A STUPID MAN". Not a chance of it; deranged, perhaps, but Bob Servant is far from stupid. It is a pleasure to see such hilarity marshaled against foes who so deserve it.
Making Spam Fun August 22, 2008
4 out of 4 found this review helpful
With the internet age has come all kinds of wonderful new convinces we now rely on every day. But with every plus comes a minus, and for most of us that minus is spam. Every morning, I hate wading through the massive amount of e-mails I get that I'm not even interested in reading.
One man decided to have some fun, however. And we get to share that fun because of this book. "Bob Servant" (and the observant person will pick up on that name faster than I did) decided to reply to some of his spam and see how long he could drag out the exchanges without the other side catching on or giving up. Here in, we get eight such exchanges and the results are hilarious.
Most of these e-mails start out all too familiar. There's the African native who needs Bob to get money out of the country. Theirs the Chinese company looking for a local person in Scotland to help with local payments. And there's Alexandria, who is more interested in Scottish men than her native Russians.
But what follows is anything but routine. It's hard to describe just how great this book because half the fun is watching how the events unfold. Twice, Bob turns a job offer into a potential job for the spammer when he pretends to be interested in buying a painting or a bunch of pots.
But my favorite exchanges cross the line into the absurd. Some of these involve wild animals and the postman. But that's all I'm going to say. Well, that and it reveals just how desperate the criminal spammers are to get the information they need. They are certainly persistent. And rather stupid themselves.
I've got to give the author credit. He has created a great world you real get involved in. In each exchange we get to see a different side of Bob and his friends. They provide half the fun.
While most of these exchanges are wonderful, I did think a couple went on too long. And they weren't quite the mostly clean stuff I normally enjoy reading. But that didn't dampen my enjoyment for long.
Ironically enough, I got this book because I replied to a spam e-mail from the author. And I'm glad I did. If you need a release from the constant attack of spam, this book is perfect for you.
 Wonderful! August 19, 2008
2 out of 2 found this review helpful
Bob Servant, Delete This at Your Peril: One Man's Hilarious Exchanges with Internet Spammers (Skyhorse Publishing, 2008)
One of my rules of thumb is to take books whose subtitles contain value judgments with a grain of salt. The hilarious is never as hilarious as one would expect from the book's flashy title. I am happy to report that Delete This at Your Peril is that rara-est of avis-es: an exception to the rule. This slim book, which is composed almost completely of the promised email exchanges (with some footnoting from Neil Forsyth, author of Other Peoples' Money, who helped Bob whip the book into shape-- the footnotes are sometimes just as funny), is often the kind of laugh-out-loud gigglefest that will cause people to look askance at you on the bus. In each of the eight episodes here, Servant starts out by responding to a spammer as if he's seriously interested, then gets more and more absurd in his emails until they finally get frustrated and blow up at him. It's a wonderful hobby, and more people should do things like this-- and then write books about them. I have now become a huge Bob Servant fan, and as soon as he gives me his bank account details, I'll tell the world so. ****
Some full out belly laughs amid the delirious and delicious satire July 18, 2008
2 out of 3 found this review helpful
A blurb on the cover from "MAXIM" exclaims "GENIUS! Highly entertaining and brilliantly deranged." I wouldn't go that far with the genius and brilliant part, but "Delete This at Your Peril" IS very funny and a bit deranged. I read the entire book in less than an hour, and although Servant is as long-winded at times as he is weird, I had some real laugh out loud moments.
The question is, does "Bob Servant," putative author of this humor opus that makes fun of Internet spammers and scammers, really exist? Or is he the bizarre creation of "editor" Neil Forsyth who holds the copyright to the book?
Not that it matters. What Bob Servant (or Neil Forsyth) does--and this has been done before, see, for example, Black Hat: Misfits, Criminals, and Spammers in the Internet Age (2004) by John Biggs--is play along with the spammers as though he is some unsophisticated rube who is falling for the con. What makes the book so funny is how Servant is able to turn the tables on the 419 scam masters from Nigeria and elsewhere and rope them into a lengthy and fruitless email correspondence, while holding out the carrot of his actually going to the bank. Servant piles it on relentlessly with misdirections and pratfalls among and with his ne'er-do-well friends and acquaintances in Broughty Ferry, Scotland.
In the first chapter, there is a certain "His Royal Highnest, [sic] Jack Thompson...the only son of late King Arawi of tribal land" who is seeking "a foreign partner" to transfer "$75m" to, "for investment," to whom he will pay 20% of the proceeds.
Bob Servant fires back with "Good morning your Majesty, I want 30%, and not a penny less."
After a bit of pulling line, Servant declares that he wants the money in lions, and he wants pictures of the lions. Thompson sends him a photo of four identical gold lions, but Servant is not satisfied. He writes, "There appears to have been a slight misunderstanding my friend, I was expecting four live lions, not gold ones."
So Jack Thompson replies, "I am buying four male lions from my friends private zoo and he has also arranged for shipment to Scotland." Thompson attaches a photo of a lion! But this isn't enough. Servant wants the lions to be able to talk. After some discussion of what the lions might be able to say, Thompson assures Servant that one of the lions can talk. Meanwhile Servant is pretending to get the funds ready to send via Western Union to Thompson. But then Servant decides he (and his buddy "Frank Theplank") also want "2 leopards, 1 elephant, 1 alligator, 2 parrots, 1 hedgehog."
At some point Thompson begins to shout: "BOB LETS GO STRAIGHT TO THE POINT. THE LIONS AND LEOPARDS ARE HERE WITH ME AT THE BACK OF MY HOUSE THEY ARE FRIENDLY AND ONE OF THE LION TALKS. BOB SEND ME THE 1700 SO I CAN COLLECT THAT MONEY AND SHIP THEM TO YOU."
Bob Servant replies by asking "What are the names of the lions?" and "What does the lion say when it talks? The bank is preparing me some forms."
To a Russian babe named Alexandra who wants to find a husband, Servant writes, "What a fantastic photo. My God, what a pair of bazookas..." She responds in part with "I do not like Russian men, their attitude to women. I want to love and be loved. Unfortunately, I have not found that in the country. I am gentle women but I am a tiger when I am in love!"
At length Servant sends Alexandra a photo of himself holding a very large, bloated carp. (Well, not himself but some old guy, whom Alex deigns to find interesting, although I don't think she got the symbolic intent of the caught fish.) Bob regales her with tales of life at Broughty Ferry with his buds, Chappy Williams and the regulars at Stewpot's Bar. And on and on and on. Finally in utter frustration (ha, ha, ha) Alexander fumes, "F-you!. To me has bothered to read your delirium."
Ah, such sweet revenge! Bob Servant has done a right bloody good turn for all of us in keeping these con artists at bay and wasting their time.
There are seven more tales in the book. One wishes there were a few more. Bottom line on the old laugh-o-meter: five stars.
Spamming for lions July 18, 2008
24 out of 28 found this review helpful
Every day
Jamming your In-Box
Is SPAM
This book
Is about one man
Who replied
Watch Bob
Spam the Spammers
For laughs
The paragraphs below use some of Bob's examples to give the reader a sense of this book, which is really quite clever if you like this sort of thing.
[Warning: Replying to spammers can cause spam mail to increase exponentially]
Greetings to you in the name of the Most High.
A business acquaintance of mine visited your fine country of Scotland recently and recommended you as a fine and honorable gentleman who can be entrusted with a matter of the highest confidentiality and importance.
He has assured me that you are an expert in business and trade, and that you may have purchased already four golden lions, two leopards and an alligator from the only son of His Excellency King Arawi of Togo. I hope that they are thriving and bringing you much joy.
First, I will introduce myself. I am a former citizen of a Soviet country, but through good fortune and most reputable mail order organization I was able to get married to a good man from Nigeria, who owns both a textile company and a pottery barn. I also obtained for myself a PhD doctorate in Business and Finance through correspondence with major unaccredited university in the United American States.
I am sad to say that my husband is now late due to assassination by his competitors, and I am left alone with his business affairs to handle. I will also tell you that due to his relatives in the government, my husband has been able to save a lot of money which is in an account in my name, and I trust you to keep this information in confidence. My friend Bob, I am a beautiful woman of only 25 years, and I am unable to do business here with the men in Nigeria. My late husband's lawyer cannot be trusted with such matters, and I am looking to you to help me transfer 32 million Sterling pounds to Scotland, where I understand you own a Cheeseburger Business and an African Cafe.
I would like for us to get better acquainted and maybe you would like to become my husband. I can cook genuine African dishes, especially yam potage, Isi Ewu and Afang soup, which I am sure your customers will enjoy. We can achieve many great things together, you and I.
My dear Bob, I am so excited about this venture between us that I can hardly wait for your soonest reply. Please also send me your photo and the name of your bank and account number so I can begin preparing to transfer the money.
Modesta Spamminovitch-Upayme
This is a quick and funny read, and heartily recommended to anyone who has e-mail.
Amanda Richards, July 19, 2008
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